The worst thing you can do is nothing.
Oh, he did his best to make their short lives miserable, because that was his job, but nothing he could think up was half as bad as the stuff they thought up themselves.
Sister Mary was a nurse and nurses, whatever their creed, are primarily nurses, which had a lot to do with wearing your watch upside down, keeping calm in emergencies, and dying for a cup of tea.
People who didn’t need people needed people around to know that they were the kind of people who didn’t need people.
Just to keep the bad dreams at bay, she took a swig out of a bottle that smelled of apples and happy brain-death.
You know, you’re rather amusingly wrong.
There was no safety. There was no pride. All there was, was money. Everything became money, and money became everything. Money treated us as if we were things, and we died.
Some people think this is paranoia, but it isn’t. Paranoids only think everyone is out to get them. Wizards know it.
He’d heard that writers spent all day in their dressing gowns drinking champagne. This is, of course, absolutely true.
Vimes’s lack of interest in other people’s children was limitless.
Yes, sir, thank you, sir, and I wouldn’t trust me one little inch, sir. I knows a bad one when I sees them. I have a mirror.
Don’t stick your nose where someone can pull it off and eat it.
He was determined to discover the underlying logic behind the universe. Which was going to be hard, because there wasn’t one.
Despite rumor, Death isn’t cruel – merely terribly, terribly good at his job.
If failure had no penalty success would not be a prize.
Rincewind tried to force the memory out of his mind, but it was rather enjoying itself there, terrorizing the other occupants and kicking over the furniture.
Neither claimed any responsibility for Milton Keynes, but both reported it as a success.
You take a bunch of people who don’t seem any different from you and me, but when you add them all together you get this sort of huge raving maniac with national borders and an anthem.
Their families cordially detested one another.
Things like crowns had a troublesome effect on clever folk; it was best to leave all the reigning to the kind of people whose eyebrows met in the middle when they tried to think. In a funny sort of way, they were much better at it.