Sometimes you had to take a look at yourself and then look away.
People like that don’t need a reason apart from “because I can”. They have a nightmare and try to make it happen.
Taxation, gentlemen, is very much like dairy farming. The task is to extract the maximum amount of milk with the minimum amount of moo.
His parents called him Youngster. They did this in the subconcious hope that he might take the hint. Wensleydale gave the impression of having been born with a mental age of 47.
There’s one thing you can say for air pollution, you get utterly amazing sunrises.
Your own brain ought to have the decency to be on your side!
You have reached the end of cake.
That’s the Ankh-Morpork instinct, Vimes thought. Run away, and then stop and see if anything interesting is going to happen to other people.
The Kraken stirs. And ten billion sushi dinners cry out for vengeance.
You did something because it had always been done, and the explanation was, ‘But we’ve always done it this way.’ A million dead people can’t have been wrong, can they?
Raising the flag and singing the anthem are, while somewhat suspicious, not in themselves acts of treason.
There are many horrible sights in the multiverse. Somehow, though, to a soul attuned to the subtle rhythms of a library, there are few worse sights than a hole where a book ought to be.
One of the things forgotten about the human spirit is that while it is, in the right conditions, noble and brave and wonderful, it is also, when you get right down to it, only human.
Mort was already aware that love made you feel hot and cold and cruel and weak, but he hadn’t realized that it could make you stupid.
We sleepwalk through our lives, because how could we live if we were always this awake?
Witches were a bit like cats. They didn’t much like one another’s company, but they did like to know where all the other witches were, just in case they needed them.
Some people believe that when you die, you cross the River of Death and have to pay the ferryman. People don’t seem to worry about that these days. Perhaps there’s a bridge now.
He felt as if he had been shipwrecked on the Titanic, but in the nick of time had been rescued. By the Lusitania.
It was said that life was cheap in Ankh-Morpork. This was of course, completely wrong. Life was often very expensive; you could get death for free.
But then science is nothing but a series of questions that lead to more questions.