I had a dream last night, I was eating a ten pound marshmallow. I woke up this morning and the pillow was gone.
I belong to the secret six. It’s so secret I don’t even know the other five.
I went window shopping today! I bought four windows.
I used to be indecisive but now I am not quite sure.
A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.
I’ve been on the whisky diet – I’ve already lost three days!
I had a ploughman’s lunch the other day. He wasn’t very happy.