They call it the Latin Quarter because nobody there is Latin and nobody has a quarter.
Syntax must be bad, having sin and tax in it.
You can’t fool all of the people all of the time. But it isn’t necessary.
You have to have a serious streak in you, or you can’t see the funny side of the other fellow.
Everyone wants to vote for the best and most qualified man, but he never runs for office.
Even if you’re on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there. Opportunity rarely knocks on your door. Knock rather on opportunity’s door if you ardently wish to enter.
The stock market has spoiled more appetites than bad cooking.
If you don’t have malice in our heart, it doesn’t come across harsh.
Everyone is a self-made man. Only the successful admit it.
I never met a man I didn’t get a kind of strange and exciting tingling sensation from.
That’s the trouble with our charities; we are always saving somebody away off, when the fellow next to us ain’t eating.
When a fellow ain’t got much mind, it don’t take him long to make it up.
There is a terrible lot of us who don’t think that we come from a monkey, but if there are some people who think that they do, why, it’s not our business to rob them of what little pleasure they might get out of imagining it.
Every guy looks in his pocket and then votes.
People want just taxes more than they want lower taxes. They want to know that every man is paying his proportionate share according to his wealth.
Government investigations have always contributed more to our amusement than they have to our knowledge.
We have plenty of Confidence in this country, but we are a little short of good men to place our Confidence in.
The rest of the people know the condition of the country, for they live in it, but Congress has no idea what is going on in America, so the President has to tell ’em.
You shake a slogan at an American and it’s just like showing a hungry dog a bone.
The American people are a very generous people and will forgive almost any weakness, with the possible, exception of stupidity.