Never slap a man who’s chewing tobacco. Never kick a cow chip on a hot day. Never miss a good chance to shut up.
Show me a healthy community with a healthy economy and I will show you a community that has its green infrastructure in order and understands the relationship between the built and the unbuilt environment.
Some guy invented Vitamin A out of a carrot. I’ll bet he can’t invent a good meal out of one.
If you want to know how a man stands, go among the people who are in his same business.
The business of government is to keep the government out of business – that is, unless business needs government aid.
No party is as bad as its leaders.
I joked about every prominent man of my time, but I never met a man I didn’t like.
Congress is deadlocked and can’t act.
Americans will feed anyone that’s not close to them.
Congress meets tomorrow morning. Let us all pray: Oh Lord, give us strength to bear that which is about to be inflicted upon us. Be merciful with them, oh Lord, for they know not what they’re doing. Amen.
A senator got up today in Congress and called his fellow senators sons of wild jackasses. Now, if you think the senators were hot, imagine how the jackasses must feel.
Never blame a legislative body for not doing something. When they do nothing, that don’t hurt anybody. When they do something is when they become dangerous.
I never took a human life, I only sold the fellow the gun to take it with.
Politics is not worrying this country one-tenth as much as where to find a parking space.
The reason political party platforms are so long is that when you straddle anything it takes a long time to explain it.
In the early days of the Indian Territory, there were no such things as birth certificates. You being there was certificate enough.
Our public men are speaking every day on something, but they ain’t saying anything.
We are the first nation in the history of the world to go to the poorhouse in an automobile.
Mona Lisa is the only beauty who went through history and retained her reputation.
If you ever injected truth into politics you would have no politics.