Baseball is a skilled game. It’s America’s game – it, and high taxes.
A Democrat is just like a baby. If it’s hollering and making a lot of noise, there is nothing serious the matter with it. When it’s quiet and doesn’t pay much attention to anything, that’s when it’s really dangerous.
Common sense is not an issue in politics – it’s an affliction.
A comedian can only last till he either takes himself serious or his audience takes him serious.
You politicians have got to look further ahead; you always got a Putter in your hands, when you ought to have a Driver.
We are sure living in a peculiar time. You get morefor not working than you will for working, and morefor not raising a hog than for raising it.
If all the time consumed in attending dinners and luncheons was consumed in some work, the production of this country would be doubled.
Technocracy wants to do everything by machinery. Machinery is doing just fine. If it can’t kill you, it will put you out of work.
We are here just for a spell and then pass on. So get a few laughs and do the best you can. Live your life so that whenever you lose it, you are ahead.
Everything is funny as long as it is happening to Somebody Else, but when it happens to you, why it seems to lose some of its Humor, and if it keeps on happening, why the entire laughter kinder Fades out of it.
Well, the disarmament conference is off to a flying start. There is nothing to prevent their succeeding now but human nature.
The French couldn’t hate us any more unless we helped ’em out in another war.
We may elevate ourselves but we should never reach so high that we would every forget those who helped us get there.
American invents everything, but the trouble is we get tired of it the minute the new is wore off.
When you get into trouble 5,000 miles from home, you’ve got to have been looking for it.
I was born because it was a habit in those days, people didn’t know anything else.
The self persists like a dying star, In sleep, afraid.
The theater is a great equalizer: it is the only place where the poor can look down on the rich.
You can be killed just as dead in an unjustified war as you can in one protecting your own home.
The public perceives there are problems with the water system, and with the efficiency of the system. We need some leadership and to provide expertise in the area of efficiency.