There is two types of Larceny, Petty and Grand. They are supposed to be the same in the eyes of the law, but judges always put a little extra on you for Petty, which is kind of a fine for stupidness.
The Supreme Court is divided almost in half on the decisions. Talk about an international court. How would we ever agree with a lot of foreigners when we can’t even agree among our own judges?
The minute a thing is long and complicated, it confuses. Whoever wrote the Ten Commandments made ’em short. They may not always be kept, but they are understood.
If Wall Street paid a tax on every “game” they run, we would get enough revenue to run the government on.
The English should give Ireland home rule – and reserve the motion picture rights.
The good old horse-and-buggy days: then you lived until you died and not until you were run over.
I guess truth can hurt you worse in an election than about anything that can happen to you.
One way to solve the traffic problem is to keep all the cars that are not paid for off the streets.
We have killed more people celebrating our independence day than we lost fighting for it.
I represent what is left of a vanishing race, and that is the pedestrian. That I am still able to be here, I owe to a keen eye and a nimble pair of legs. But I know they’ll get me someday.
Will somebody please tell me what they do with all the Vice-Presidents a bank has? Why the United States is the biggest business institution in the world, and they got only one Vice-President and nobody has ever found anything for him to do.
There are two things I don’t care how smart you are, you will never understand. One is an alienist’s testimony, and the other is a railroad timetable.
We are the only nation in the world that waits till we get into a war before we start getting ready for it.
Politicians are just a bunch of local bandits, sent by their local voters to raid the public treasury.
We all joke about Congress but we can’t improve on them. Have you noticed that no matter who we elect, he is just as bad as the one he replaces?
Politics is the best show in America. I love animals and I love politicians, and I like to watch both of ’em at play, either back home in their native state, or after they’ve been captured and sent to a zoo, or to Washington.
Funny to watch these Senators switching back and forth on Prohibition. Politics is a great character builder. You have to take a referendum to see what your convictions are for that day.
A company is known by the people it keeps.
Alexander Hamilton originated the put and take system in our national treasury: the taxpayers put it in, and the politicians take it out.
Politicians can do more funny things naturally than I can think of to do purposely.