There is no more independence in politics than there is in jail.
Let advertisers spend the same amount of money improving their product that they do on advertising and they wouldn’t have to advertise it.
It rained in the Middle West. Farmers are learning that the relief they get from the sky beats what they get from Washington.
We are all here for a spell, get all the good laughs you can.
We can’t all be heroes, because somebody has to sit on the curb and applaud when they go by.
If I studied all my life, I couldn’t think up half the number of funny things passed in one session of congress.
More men have been elected between Sundown and Sunup than ever were elected between Sunup and Sundown.
You know horses are smarter than people. You never heard of a horse going broke betting on people.
An onion can make people cry but there’s never been a vegetable that can make people laugh.
Chaotic action is preferable to orderly inaction.
Everybody is ignorant, only on different subjects.
It’s not what you pay a man, but what he costs you that counts.
America is a nation that conceives many odd inventions for getting somewhere but it can think of nothing to do once it gets there.
The only way you can beat the lawyers is to die with nothing.
No man is great if he thinks he is.
Texas is a great state. It’s the ‘Old Man River’ of states. No matter who runs it or what happens to it politically, it just keeps rolling along!
There is not a man in the country that can’t make a living for himself and family. But he can’t make a living for them and his government, too, the way his government is living. What the government has got to do is live as cheap as the people.
The trouble with Democrats is that they all want to run for President.
A king can stand people’s fighting but he can’t last long if people start thinking.
There is something about a Republican that you can only stand him just so long; and on the other hand, there is something about a Democrat that you can’t stand him quite that long.