Civilization has taught us to eat with a fork, but even now if nobody is around we use our fingers.
Never kick a cow chip on a hot day.
I read about eight newspapers in a day. When I’m in a town with only one newspaper, I read it eight times.
Successful colleges will start laying plans for a new stadium; unsuccessful ones will start hunting a new coach.
Does college pay? They do if you are a good open-field runner.
Elections are a good deal like marriages. There’s no accounting for anyone’s taste. Every time we see a bridegroom we wonder why she ever picked him, and it’s the same with public officials.
A man that don’t love a horse, there is something the matter with him.
Rumor travels faster, but it don’t stay put as long as truth.
I love a dog. He does nothing for political reasons.
Lord, the money we do spend on Government and it’s not one bit better than the government we got for one-third the money twenty years ago.
There are two theories to arguing with a woman. Neither works.
On account of being a democracy and run by the people, we are the only nation in the world that has to keep a government four years, no matter what it does.
I like to hear a man talk about himself because then I never hear anything, but good.
Lord, let me live until I die.
The movies are the only business where you can go out front and applaud yourself.
This would be a great world to dance in if we didn’t have to pay the fiddler.
Being a hero is about the shortest-lived profession on earth.
Get someone else to blow your horn and the sound will carry twice as far.
So let’s be honest with ourselves and not take ourselves too serious, and never condemn the other fellow for doing what we are doing every day, only in a different way.
There’s only one thing that can kill the movies, and that’s education.