A man only learns in two ways, one by reading, and the other by association with smarter people.
Noah must have taken into the Ark two taxes, one male and one female. And did they multiply bountifully! Next to guinea pigs, taxes must have been the most prolific animals.
Too many people spend money they haven’t earned to buy things they don’t want to impress people they don’t like.
The 1928 Republican Convention opened with a prayer. If the Lord can see His way clear to bless the Republican Party the way it’s been carrying on, then the rest of us ought to get it without even asking.
The worst thing that happens to you may be the best thing for you if you don’t let it get the best of you.
It costs ten times more to govern us than it used to, and we are not governed one-tenth as good.
The taxpayers are sending congressmen on expensive trips abroad. It might be worth it except they keep coming back.
Never miss a chance to shut up.
There are three kinds of men. The one that learns by reading. The few who learn by observation. The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence for themselves.
The only difference between death and taxes is that death doesn’t get worse every time Congress meets.
A fool and his money are soon elected.
If you make any money, the government shoves you in the creek once a year with it in your pockets, and all that don’t get wet you can keep.
Communism to me is one-third practice and two-thirds explanation.
The short memories of the American voters is what keeps our politicians in office.
I don’t make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.
I can remember way back when a liberal was one who was generous with his money.
A vision without a plan is just a hallucination.
Being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.
How is the government going to get the extra taxes? Out of the rich, or just out of the poor, as usual?
There have been three great inventions since the beginning of time: fire, the wheel, and central banking.