The problem ain’t what people know. It’s what people know that ain’t so that’s the problem.
It is a good thing that we do not get as much government as we pay for.
You never know how much a man can’t remember until he is called as a witness.
If any of us had a child that we thought was as bad as we know we are, we would have cause to start to worry.
The trouble with land is that they’re not making it anymore.
There is nothing in the world that we do as much as we do eating.
When you give a lesson in meanness to a critter or a person, don’t be surprised if they learn their lesson.
If America ever passes out as a great nation, we ought to put on our tombstone: America died from a delusion she had Moral Leadership.
I maintain that it should cost as much to get married as to get divorced. Make it look like marriage is worth as much as divorce, even if it ain’t.
Course, that’s the trouble with politics, it breeds politics! So that makes it pretty hard to stamp out.
You know you’ve got to exercise your brain just like your muscles.
I hope we never live to see the day when a thing is as bad as some of our newspapers make it.
Invest in inflation. It is the only thing going up.
There is nothing fairer than workmen having unions of their mutual benefit.
There ain’t nothing that breaks up homes, country and nations like somebody publishing their memoirs.
It don’t take a genius to spot a goat in a flock of sheep.
Nobody wants to be called common people, especially common people.
There is one guaranteed formula for failure, and that is to try to please everyone.
The deer season just opened. A deer hunter in Ventura Country brought in his first man yesterday.
A fanatic is always the fellow that is on the opposite side.