Those who have a strong sense of love and belonging have the courage to be imperfect.
Perfectionism is a self destructive and addictive belief system that fuels this primary thought: If I look perfect, and do everything perfectly, I can avoid or minimize the painful feelings of shame, judgment, and blame.
If we can share our story with someone who responds with empathy and understanding, shame can’t survive.
You are imperfect, you are wired for struggle, but you are worthy of love and belonging.
When perfectionism is driving us, shame is riding shotgun and fear is that annoying backseat driver!
Talk to yourself like you would to someone you love.
If you trade your authenticity for safety, you may experience the following: anxiety, depression, eating disorders, addiction, rage, blame, resentment, and inexplicable grief.
Perfectionism is a twenty-ton shield that we lug around thinking it will protect us when, in fact, it’s the thing that’s really preventing us from taking flight.
Believing that you’re enough is what gives you the courage to be authentic.
We are hardwired to connect with others, it’s what gives purpose and meaning to our lives, and without it there is suffering.
If you put shame in a petri dish, it needs three ingredients to grow exponentially: secrecy, silence, and judgment. If you put the same amount of shame in the petri dish and douse it with empathy, it can’t survive.
Vulnerability is the core of shame and fear and our struggle for worthiness, but it appears that it’s also the birthplace of joy, of creativity, of belonging, of love.
Connection, the ability to feel connected, is neurobiologically wired, that’s why we’re here!
When we deny our stories, They define us. When we own our stories, we get to write the ending.
Vulnerability is the core, the heart, the center, of meaningful human experience.
Empathy fuels connection; sympathy drives disconnection.
Want to be happy? Stop trying to be perfect.
Perfectionism is self destructive simply because there’s no such thing as perfect. Perfection is an unattainable goal.
Shame cannot survive being spoken. It cannot survive empathy.
In order for connection to happen, we have to allow ourselves to be seen, really seen.