O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain;.

— Mark Twain

Mark Twain Quotes

All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence; then success is sure.

— Mark Twain
Funny Short Short About Life Funny Motivational

When I am king they shall not have bread and shelter only, but also teachings out of books, for a full belly is little worth where the mind is starved.

— Mark Twain
Lifelong Learning Inspirational for Students Reading Library

Let us live so that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.

— Mark Twain
Funny Short About Life Legacy Life Is Short

I have spent most of my life worrying about things that have never happened.

— Mark Twain
Funny Short About Life Reflection Different

What a man wants with religion in these breadless times, surpasses my comprehension.

— Mark Twain

Men are easily dealt with – but when you get the women started, you are in for it, you know.

— Mark Twain

When a humorist ventures upon the grave concerns of life he must do his job better than another man or he works harm to his cause.

— Mark Twain

The unexamined life may not be worth living, but the life too closely examined may not be lived at all.

— Mark Twain

Man seems to be a rickety poor sort of thing, any way you take him; a kind of British Museum of infirmities and inferiorities. He is always undergoing repairs. A machine that was as unreliable as he is would have no market.

— Mark Twain

I think that the reason why we Americans seem to be so addicted to trying to get rich suddenly is merely because the opportunity to make promising efforts in that direction has offered itself to us with a frequency out of all proportion to the European experience.

— Mark Twain

Every man has a secret ambition: To outsmart horses, fish and women.

— Mark Twain

In the small town of Hannibal, Missouri, when I was a boy, everybody was poor, but didn’t know it; and everybody was comfortable and did know it.

— Mark Twain

We can’t always have the beautiful aspect of things. Let us make the most of our sights that are beautiful and let the others go.

— Mark Twain

Music is a good thing; and after all that soul-butter and hogwash, I never see it freshen up things so, and sound so honest and bully.

— Mark Twain

We often feel sad in the presence of music without words; and often more than that in the presence of music without music.

— Mark Twain

I heard a Californian student in Heidelberg say, in one of his calmest moods, that he would rather decline two drinks than one German adjective.

— Mark Twain

Education is what you must acquire without any interference from your schooling.

— Mark Twain

I was in one of the most grand attitudes I ever struck, with my arm stretched up pointing to the sun. It was a noble effect. You could see the shudder sweep the mass like a wave.

— Mark Twain

Adam was the luckiest man in the world. He had no mother-in-law.

— Mark Twain

Three months of camp life on Lake Tahoe would restore an Egyptian mummy to his pristine vigor, and give him an appetite like an alligator.

— Mark Twain
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