MEDICINE, n. A stone flung down the Bowery to kill a dog in Broadway.
SORCERY, n. The ancient prototype and forerunner of political influence. It was, however, deemed less respectable and sometimes was punished by torture and death.
Truth is so good a thing that falsehood can not afford to be without it.
Slang is the speech of him who robs the literary garbage carts on their way to the dumps.
Legitimate authority to be, to do or to have; as the right to be a king, the right to do one’s neighbor, the right to have measles, and the like.
When you have made a catalogue of your friend’s faults it is only fair to supply him with a duplicate, so that he may know yours.
PRESIDENCY, n. The greased pig in the field game of American politics.
When publicly censured our first instinct is to make everybody a codefendant.
Youth is Gilead, in which is balm for every wound.
One engaged in a commercial pursuit. A commercial pursuit is one in which the thing pursued is a dollar.
A king’s staff of office, the sign and symbol of his authority. It was originally a mace with which the sovereign admonished his jester and vetoed ministerial measures by breaking the bones of their proponents.
EJECTION, n. An approved remedy for the disease of garrulity. It is also much used in cases of extreme poverty.
CALLOUS, adj. Gifted with great fortitude to bear the evils afflicting another.
Dentist: a prestidigitator who, putting metal into your mouth, pulls coin out of your pocket.
PRESBYTERIAN, n. One who holds the conviction that the government authorities of the Church should be called presbyters.
SCARABAEUS, n. The sacred beetle of the ancient Egyptians, allied to our familiar “tumble-bug.” It was supposed to symbolize immortality, the fact that God knew why giving it its peculiar sanctity.
PERIPATETIC, adj. Walking about. Relating to the philosophy of Aristotle, who, while expounding it, moved from place to place in order to avoid his pupil’s objections. A needless precaution – they knew no more of the matter than he.
PROBOSCIS, n. The rudimentary organ of an elephant which serves him in place of the knife-and-fork that Evolution has as yet denied him. For purposes of humor it is popularly called a trunk.
MONARCHICAL GOVERNMENT, n. Government.
RUMOR, n. A favorite weapon of the assassins of character.