The circus a place where horses, ponies and elephants are permitted to see men, women and children acting the fool.
For every man there is something in the vocabulary that would stick to him like a second skin. His enemies have only to find it.
The hardest tumble a man can make is to fall over his own bluff.
Prescription: A physician’s guess at what will best prolong the situation with least harm to the patient.
Love: A temporary insanity curable by marriage.
Life – a spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay.
All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusions is called a philosopher.
Inventor: A person who makes an ingenious arrangement of wheels, levers and springs, and believes it civilization.
Doubt is the father of invention.
Dog – a kind of additional or subsidiary Deity designed to catch the overflow and surplus of the world’s worship.
PHOTOGRAPH, n. A picture painted by the sun without instruction in art. It is a little better than the work of an Apache, but not quite so good as that of a Cheyenne.
I think that I think, therefore I think that I am;.
PAIN, n. An uncomfortable frame of mind that may have a physical basis in something that is being done to the body, or may be purely mental, caused by the good fortune of another.
Turkey: A large bird whose flesh, when eaten on certain religious anniversaries has the peculiar property of attesting piety and gratitude.
NIRVANA- In the Buddhist religion, a state of pleasurable annihilation awarded to the wise, particularly to those wise enough to understand it.
Abnormal, adj. Not conforming to standard. In matters of thought and conduct, to be independent is to be abnormal, to be abnormal is to be detested.
Dawn: When men of reason go to bed.
Adolescence: The stage between puberty and adultery.
A total abstainer is one who abstains from everything but abstention, and especially from inactivity in the affairs of others.
Rum, n. Generically, fiery liquors that produce madness in total abstainers.