We should invade their countries, kill their leaders and convert them to Christianity.
Political debate with liberals is basically impossible in America today because liberals are calling names while conservatives are trying to make arguments.
If we took away women’s right to vote, we’d never have to worry about another Democrat president.
I never wanted to be famous and the only part I like is that it means people are reading my books and listening to me on TV and radio.
My only regret with Timothy McVeigh is he did not go to the New York Times Building.
Liberals are more upset when a tree is chopped down than when a child is aborted.
Liberals are hopping mad because Rush Limbaugh referred to phony soldiers as “phony soldiers.” They claim he was accusing all Democrats in the military of being “phony.” True, all Democrats in the military are not phony soldiers, but all phony soldiers seem to be Democrats.
Liberals could live their whole lives never having to hear an actual conservative opinion other than the idiotic arguments written for conservative characters on Aaron Sorkin’s little teleplays.
Whether they are defending the Soviet Union or bleating for Saddam Hussein, liberals are always against America. They are either traitors or idiots, and on the matter of America’s self-preservation, the difference is irrelevant.
Some people say I’m really ugly and anorexic; some say the only reason I’m on TV is because I’m pretty. I say to them: Get your slander straight. You are what you are, whether you’re small or skinny or smart or dumb. Just do what you do.
Contempt is the emotion we feel for an opponent whose arguments are too formidable to refute.
I love to engage in repartee with people who are stupider than I am.
Although God believers don’t need evolution to be false, atheists need evolution to be true.
Guns are our friends because in a country without guns, I’m what’s known as “prey.” All females are.
Liberals become indignant when you question their patriotism, but simultaneously work overtime to give terrorists a cushion for the next attack and laugh at dumb Americans who love their country and hate the enemy.
From the people who brought you “zero tolerance,” I present the Gun-Free Zone! Yippee! Problem solved! Bam! Bam! Everybody down! Hey, how did that deranged loner get a gun into this Gun-Free Zone?
Even Obama’s staunchest supporters are starting to leave him. Last week Michelle Obama demanded to see a copy of his birth certificate.
Science is something that you have facts. They can be tested. They can be checked. Heterosexual AIDS, another one.
If liberals were prevented from ever again calling Republicans dumb, they would be robbed of half their arguments. To be sure, they would still have racist, fascist, homophobe, ugly, and a few other highly nuanced arguments in the quiver. But the loss of dumb would nearly cripple them.
The New York Times editorial page is like a Ouija board that has only three answers, no matter what the question. The answers are: higher taxes, more restrictions on political speech and stricter gun control.