When you start reading nonfiction books about piracy, you realize that it’s actually just a history of desperate people.
Hello, freaky peoples!
For every teenager I know, having a phone is a mixed blessing, because your parents can press a button and figure out where you are.
There was still plenty of water in the basement, and I felt it soaking me from the knees on down. If someone wanted to torture me until I told them a critical piece of information, all they would have to do is get my socks wet. It feels terrible.
There is a pair of snakes who have learned to drive a car so recklessly that they would run you over in the street and never stop to apologize.
I think pirates, like astronauts, particularly for a boy, are always kind of worth thinking about.
Klaus sighed, and opened a book, and as at so many other times when the middle Baudelaire child did not want to think about his circumstances, he began to read.
This is an absurd moral, for you and I both know that sometimes not only is it good to lie, it is necessary to lie.
Waiting is one of life’s hardships.
You might be afraid of the dark, but the dark is not afraid of you. That’s why the dark is always close by.
It has been said that the hardest job in the world is raising a child, but the people who says this have probably never worked at a comb factory or captured pirates on the high seas.
Members of your family might say they are working hard all day long, while you are off at school or clarinet lessons, but the only way to know this for sure is to follow them at a discreet distance.
It is not very polite to interrupt a person, of course, but sometimes if the person is very unpleasant you can hardly stop yourself.
Temper tantrums, however fun they may be to throw, rarely solve whatever problem is causing them.
Arguing with somebody is never pleasant, but sometimes it is useful and necessary to do so.
Sometimes the things you’ve lost can be found again in unexpected places.
Mostly, it’s flattering to meet fans. As long as it’s in a planned, professional meeting, rather than, say, someone dropping by my home, which is not as pleasant.
The expression ‘Those who can’t do, teach’ is a curious one, because if you look at the world, you’ll see that teachers aren’t particularly worse at doing things than anyone else, so perhaps the expression might be better worded as ’nobody can do anything.
When trouble strikes, head to the library. You will either be able to solve the problem, or simply have something to read as the world crashes down around you.
But I must admit I miss you terribly. The world is too quiet without you nearby.