You know, there’s a big world out there filled with desperate orphans who would gladly swim across an ocean of thumbtacks just to be eclipsed by the long shadow that is cast by my accomplishments.
People don’t always get what they deserve in this world.
Well-read people are less likely to be evil.
I find reading screenplays difficult, as they’re only a roadmap for what a movie might end up being.
No matter who you are, no matter where you live, and no matter how many people are chasing you, what you don’t read is often as important as what you do read.
It is not the diamonds or the birds, the people or the potatoes; it is not any of the nouns. The miracle is the adverbs, the way things are done. It is the way love gets done despite every catastrophe.
Sometimes words are not enough.
The movie was kickass, which was appropriate, because tonight it was called Kickass: The Movie.
Adverbs is a book about love, and I thought that was pretty cheerful, but people who are reading it now are telling me that it’s actually quite dark.
Fetching objects for people who are too lazy to fetch them for themselves is never a pleasant task, particularly when the people are insulting you.
There is no easy way to train an apprentice. My two tools are example and nagging.
Wherever there’s a conductor, you’re sure to find a dead composer!
The quoting of an aphorism, like the angry barking of a dog or the smell of overcooked broccoli, rarely indicates that something helpful is about to happen.
Sometimes when someone tells a ridiculous lie, it is best to ignore it entirely.
Never look a gift lion in the mouth.
For Beatrice – you will always be in my mind, in my heart and in your grave.
We need things, and the opposite of them, and we are so rarely completely comfortable.
When things don’t go right, go left.
Goodness! Golly! Good God! Blessed Allah! Zeus and Hera! Mary and Joseph! Nathaniel Hawthorne! Don’t touch her! Grab her! Move closer! Run away! Don’t move! Kill the snake! Leave it alone! Give it some food! Don’t let it bite her! Lure the snake away! Here, snakey! Here, snakey snakey!
The sea is nothing but a library of all the tears in history.