Wisdom is the reward you get for a lifetime of listening when you’d have preferred to talk.
Some of the world’s greatest feats were accomplished by people not smart enough to know they were impossible.
Never doubt the courage of the French. They were the ones who discovered that snails are edible.
Life expectancy would grow by leaps and bounds if green vegetables smelled as good as bacon.
Wisdom is the quality that keeps you from getting into situations where you need it.
There’s nothing like having grandchildren to restore your faith in humanity.
More marriages might survive if the partners realized that sometimes the better comes after the worse.
If people concentrated on the really important things in life, there’d be a shortage of fishing poles.
A lot of people mistake a short memory for a clear conscience.
The aging process has you firmly in its grasp if you never get the urge to throw a snowball.
To err is human; to admit it, superhuman.
Bad news travels fast. Good news takes the scenic route.
Spring is when you feel like whistling even with a shoe full of slush.
A pun is the lowest form of humor, unless you thought of it yourself.
Establishing goals is all right if you don’t let them deprive you of interesting detours.
For disappearing acts, it’s hard to beat what happens to the eight hours supposedly left after eight of sleep and eight of work.
Few things are more delightful than grandchildren fighting over your lap.
If the English language made any sense, lackadaisical would have something to do with a shortage of flowers.
The cat could very well be man’s best friend but would never stoop to admitting it.
Instead of giving a politician the keys to the city, it might be better to change the locks.