I don’t run outside, honestly. Sometimes I go out around my house, but mainly it’s the stupid treadmill. I wish I had a better answer, but I’m very businesslike about my runs.
Living in Hollywood, you can get disconnected from everybody. You can feel like you are the only one.
I actually was worried about the pounding, but I actually love running more than working out on the elliptical. Now if I get on the elliptical, I feel like I’m trapped.
I love Las Vegas. I like that Las Vegas has everything. Everything and anything you want to do, you can do in Las Vegas.
I learned how to believe in myself. Learned how to set goals, you know, self help books man. I just read every single one I can get a hold of, and I still do.
I was just sick of being fat, you know? You get sick of it. It just really, it’s a tiring lifestyle to have.
It should be up to each bar owner and patron to decide if they want to smoke or not.
I never thought I was a libertarian until I picked up Reason magazine and realized I agree with everything they had printed.
If frogs could fly – well, we’d still be in this mess, but wouldn’t it be neat?
People laugh to forget their troubles, and to forget their troubles they like to look at people who aren’t doing better than they are.
George Carlin is kind of my template now because George Carlin before was straight laced regular comic and he had short hair, a tie, suit, nightclub guy. Then he said screw it, let his hair grow, just started telling what he thought was the truth. So that’s what I’m trying to do.
Nothing’s funny about someone who’s successful.
I always thought I was going to die before I was 60.
I don’t do one show and wish I was doing something else.
I just try to get people to laugh – I’m not trying to change the world or anything.
I’m competitive at everything.
If I wasn’t a comic or TV star, I really wanted to be a photojournalist.
Welcome to ‘Who’s Line Is It Anyway’ the show where everything’s made up and the points don’t matter. That’s right the points are just like Canada.
The less government, the better.
Who ever thought that the world-famous Captain Obvious was really mild-mannered Colin Mochrie?