Think before you speak. Read before you think.
In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.
There is no such thing as inner peace. There is only nervousness and death.
Life is something that happens when you can’t get to sleep.
Very few people possess true artistic ability. It is therefore both unseemly and unproductive to irritate the situation by making an effort. If you have a burning, restless urge to write or paint, simply eat something sweet and the feeling will pass.
I place a high moral value on the way people behave. I find it repellent to have a lot, and to behave with anything other than courtesy in the old sense of the word – politeness of the heart, a gentleness of the spirit.
I, unfortunately, take the subway a lot. It’s not my preference, but it is my lot in life.
Original thought is like original sin: both happened before you were born to people you could not have possibly met.
My favorite animal is steak.
This idea that people have to love and understand each other is absurd. It’s not human nature.
The opposite of talking isn’t listening. The opposite of talking is waiting.
If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater suggest that he wear a tail.
Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he’s buying.
The great thing about New Jersey is that it’s close to New York.