Tolerance is really a better thing than understanding. Because it doesn’t agitate against human nature.
My favorite way to wake up is to have a certain French movie star whisper to me softly at two-thirty in the afternoon that if I want to get to Sweden in time to pick up my Nobel Prize for Literature, I had better ring for breakfast. This occurs rather less often than one might wish.
Why not have your first baby at sixty, when your husband is already dead and your career is over? Then you can really devote yourself to it.
I never took hallucinogenic drugs because I never wanted my consciousness expanded one unnecessary iota.
When you leave New York, you are astonished at how clean the rest of the world is. Clean is not enough.
I think one manifestation of integrity is holding a grudge. Saying no is a little different. Holding a grudge is the modern equivalent of having standards.
Girls who put out are tramps. Girls who don’t are ladies. This is, however, a rather archaic usage of the word. Should one of you boys happen upon a girl who doesn’t put out, do not jump to the conclusion that you have found a lady. What you have probably found is a Lesbian.
Calling a taxi in Texas is like calling a rabbi in Iraq.
Children ask better questions than adults. “May I have a cookie?” “Why is the sky blue?” and “What does a cow say?” are far more likely to elicit a cheerful response than “Where’s your manuscript?” “Why haven’t you called?” and “Who’s your lawyer?”
Even when freshly washed and relieved of all obvious confections, children tend to be sticky.
If you removed all of the homosexuals and homosexual influence from what is generally regarded as American culture, you would pretty much be left with Let’s Make a Deal.
Being offended is a natural consequence of leaving the house.
I never met anyone who didn’t have a very smart child. What happens to these children, you wonder, when they reach adulthood?
What’s the point of being young if you’re not going to make new things, I wonder?
I believe that at birth everyone gets the capacity for a certain amount of drugs and alcohol, everyone the same, you can do it all between 15 and 19 like I did, or you can stretch it out over 70 years.
You’re only as good as your last haircut.
Contrary to popular opinion, the hustle is not a new dance step – it is an old business procedure.
The telephone is a good way to talk to people without having to offer them a drink.
I drank my lifetime supply of alcohol and I took my lifetime supply of drugs between the ages of 15 and 19.
Great people talk about ideas, average people talk about things, and small people talk about wine.