Knowingness is sexy. The opposite of sexy is naivete.
I think humor is warmer, and wit is colder. Wit is judgment, whereas humor invites some sort of response.
There is nothing more mine than my writing, nothing I’m more proprietary about.
Never allow your child to call you by your first name. He hasn’t known you long enough.
Without these tourists, New York would be fantastic. I don’t want them to come. Stay home!
Smoking is the great romance of my lifetime. If I could find someone I wanted forty-five times a day, perhaps I could stop.
Educational television should be absolutely forbidden. It can only lead to unreasonable disappointment when your child discovers that the letters of the alphabet do not leap up out of books and dance around with royal-blue chickens.
London: A place you go to get bronchitis.
Life was certainly more entertaining when people were indulging their vices as opposed to going to meetings to indulge in a new vice: discussing their innermost thoughts in public.
New York City is filled with the same kind of people I left New Jersey to get away from.
Women who insist upon having the same options as men would do well to consider the option of being the strong, silent type.
There are some short essays that are very grave, and most contemporary novels are lighter than air.
Rome is a very loony city in every respect. One needs but spend an hour or two there to realize that Fellini makes documentaries.
A woman’s quest in life should be to find the perfect apartment. And I have found the perfect apartment. The perfect apartment is the first floor of the Metropolitan Museum. With a sofa.
Everything in Japan is hidden. Real life has an unlisted phone number.
Commercials and sometimes other guests – it’s the down side of TV. Other people – it’s the downside of life in general.
Scientists are rarely to be counted among the fun people. Awkward at parties, shy with strangers, deficient in irony – they have had no choice but to turn their attention to the close study of everyday objects.
A hobby is, of course, an abomination, as are all consuming interests and passions that do not lead directly to large, personal gain.
If, while watching the sun set on a used-car lot in Los Angeles, you are struck by the parallels between this image and the inevitable fate of humanity, do not, under any circumstances, write it down.
I just write when fear overtakes me.