I’d like to decide who comes here. I’d like to be the admissions director of New York.
Scientists – the crowd that for dash and style make the general public look like the Bloomsbury set.
The conversational overachiever is someone whose grasp exceeds his reach. This is possible but not attractive.
To me the outdoors is what you must pass through in order to get from your apartment into a taxicab.
Forcing people into a situation where they’re supposed to adore each other is probably bad. But letting people get on and off the 6 train without stabbing each other, that’s good.
All the time I’m not writing I feel like a criminal. It’s horrible to feel felonious every second of the day. It’s much more relaxing to actually write.
To lose yourself in a book is the desire of the bookworm. I mean to be taken. That is my desire.
I prefer dead writers because you don’t run into them at parties.
I do not believe in God. I believe in cashmere.
If your sexual fantasies were truly of interest to others, they would no longer be fantasies.
If you are of the opinion that the contemplation of suicide is sufficient evidence of a poetic nature, do not forget that actions speak louder than words.
Things that people will say to me, mostly, is that you shouldn’t have all these books. It’s too expensive.
Do not, on a rainy day, ask your child what he feels like doing, because I assure you that what he feels like doing, you won’t feel like watching.
I’ve never seen the Kardashians; I’m not sure who they are. But I know a lot about them because it’s impossible not to.
Smoking is, as far as I’m concerned, the entire point of being an adult.
I have a double policy, which would also solve immigration: I would stand at the border of New York City and I would say, “You can come here to live, but you can’t come here to visit.”
Bread that must be sliced with an axe is bread that is too nourishing.
A salad is not a meal, it is a style.
The thing you love right away, don’t do it, because that’s the very thing that’s going to be your addiction for the rest of your life.
While it is undeniably true that people love a surprise, it is equally true that they are seldom pleased to suddenly and without warning happen upon a series of prunes in what they took to be a normal loin of pork.