I like long walks, especially when they’re taken by people who annoy me.
I can’t understand why a person will take a year or two to write a novel when he can easily buy one for a few dollars.
A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.
Advertising is 85% confusion and 15% commission.
Life, in my estimation, is a biological misadventure that we terminate on the shoulders of six strange men whose only objective is to make a hole in one with you.
I learned law so well, the day I graduated I sued the college, won the case, and got my tuition back.