What if your husband’s faults are God’s tools to shape you? What if the very thing that most bugs you about your man constitutes God’s plan to teach you something new? Are you willing to accept that your marriage makeover – the process of moving a man – might begin with you?
A defeatist attitude kills almost as many marriages as do affairs.
Done well, marital sexuality can be a supremely healing experience.
Christian love must be chased after, aspired to, and practiced.
A good marriage isn’t something you find; it’s something you make.
Any mature, spiritually sensitive view of marriage must be built on the foundation of mature love rather than romanticism. But this immediately casts us into a countercultural pursuit.
A Christian is never dependent on the response of others to grow spiritually. It’s our own heart’s decisions that matter.
The key question is this: Will we approach marriage from a God-centered view or a man-centered view? In a man-centered view, we will maintain our marriage as long as our earthly comforts, desires, and expectations are met. In a God-centered view, we preserve our marriage because it brings glory to God and points a sinful world to a reconciling Creator.
The truth is, we want to be known; we truly do. But we’re afraid. If you see the real me, will you run away? Am I even worth being known? Will the real me bore you? Scare you? Repulse you? And so we hide.
Just when we are most eager to make ourselves understood, we must strive to understand. Just when we seek to air our grievances, we must labor to comprehend another’s hurt. Just when we want to point out the fallacies and abusive behavior of someone else, we must ruthlessly evaluate our own offensive attitudes and behaviors.
Contempt is conceived with expectations. Respect is conceived with expressions of gratitude. We can choose which one we will obsess over – expectations, or thanksgivings.
A heavyweight boxing champion who dodges all serious contenders to consistently fight marshmallows is derided and ridiculed – and rightly so. Christians who dodge all serious struggle and consciously seek to put themselves in whatever situations and relationships are easiest are doing the same thing – they are coasting, and eventually that coasting will define them and – even worse – shape them.
Giving respect is an obligation, not a favor; it is an act of maturity, birthed in a profound understanding of God’s good grace.
Christianity does not direct us to focus on finding the right person; it calls us to become the right person. Our.
Long-term marital intimacy requires accepting this truth: to stop giving yourself to your spouse is to spiritually divorce them.
I’ve found that obedience to God creates quiet fulfillment in the present. There is a spiritual satisfaction that comes even in the midst of our trials. It is a demeanor that may not be as “showy” as gleeful happiness, but it is much less subject to moods and makes for much more permanent a disposition.
Romans 2:7–8: “To those who by persistence in doing good seek glory, honor and immortality, he will give eternal life. But for those who are self-seeking and who reject the truth and follow evil, there will be wrath and anger.
Our Lord has sovereignly ordained that our refining process take place as we go through difficulties, not around them. The Bible is filled with examples of those who overcame as they passed through the desert, the Red Sea, the fiery furnace and ultimately the cross. God doesn’t protect Christians from their problems – he helps them walk victoriously through their problems.”4.
In case you’ve never thought about it, a woman’s body changes much more rapidly than her character does.
Lying about what you want out of marriage going in because you’re afraid you’ll lose the relationship if you are honest is one of the worst kinds of fraud you could ever commit.