Bear patiently, my heart, for you have suffered heavier things.
Books are useless! I only ever read one book, To Kill a Mockingbird, and it gave me absolutely no insight on how to kill mockingbirds! Sure it taught me not to judge a man by the color of his skin but what good does that do me?
Guns aren’t toys! They’re for family protection, hunting dangerous or delicious animals, and keeping the King of England out of your face!
Women are easy, state capitals are hard.
Just once I’d like someone to call me ‘Sir’ without adding ‘You’re making a scene.’
I discovered a meal between breakfast and brunch.
I’ve finally tapped into that spirit of self-destruction that makes rock-n-roll the king of music!
The other day, I was so desperate for a beer, I snuck into the football stadium and ate the dirt under the bleachers.
I’m not gay, but I’ll learn...
Singing is the lowest form of communication.
There is a strength in the even of very sorry men.
Achilles absent was Achilles still!
The generation of mankind is like the generation of leaves. The wind scatters the leaves on the ground, but the living tree burgeons with leaves again in the spring.
Know from the bounteous heaven all riches flow.
We all scribble poetry.
A glorious death is his, who for his country falls.
It is not good to have a rule of many.
And would’st thou evil for his good repay?
From his tongue flowed speech sweeter than honey.
If you don’t like your job, you don’t strike! You just go in every day, and do it really half assed. That’s the American way.