Yeah, I like that idea. Maybe he’ll shoot at us again. I was hoping someone would shoot at me today. That was the first thing I said when I got up: Boy, I hope I get shot at today.
And something chocolate, of course. A meal was not a meal without some sort of chocolate for desert.
I was going to go to church, but I decided to get doughnuts instead.
I am not menopausal. I just wanted half an hour alone. Is that too much to ask? A crappy half hour!
I stuck my tongue out at him because I was feeling exceptionall mature.
That’s one of the things I like about Mary Lou. She’s willing to believe the worst about anyone.
At the other end of the room, Grandma had the lid up on Larry Lipinski. She was standing one foot on a folding chair, one foot on the edge of the casket, and she was taking pictures with a disposable camera.
When something needs to be ironed I put it in the ironing basket. If a year goes by and the item is still in the basket I throw the item away. This is a good system since eventually I end up only with clothes that don’t need ironing.
Adaptation is one of the great advantages to being born and bred in Jersey. We’re simply not bested by bad air or tainted water. We’re like that catfish with lungs. Take us out of our environment and we can grow whatever body parts we need to survive. After Jersey the rest of the country’s a piece of cake. You want to send someone into a fallout zone? Get him from Jersey. He’ll be fine.
It was Lorraine in her nightie and Mo in his cap. They’d just settled their brains for a long winter’s nap in front of the television. When out in the lot there arose such a clatter, they sprang from their recliners to see what was the matter. Away to the window they flew like a flash, tore open the blinds and threw up the sash. And what to their wondering eyes should appear, but Stephanie Plum and yet another of her cars burning front to rear.
Once again, the key to true happiness is lowered expectations.
Ranger slung an arm around me and hugged me into him, and I could feel him laughing. “It’s not funny,” I said. “Babe, I haven’t got a lot of funny in my life. Let me enjoy the moment.
I ordered a pitcher of beer,” Morelli said. “Hope that’s okay.” “It’s perfect. I need it now.” Morelli whistled through his teeth, and everyone jumped in the restaurant. He raised his hand and mouthed “Beer” to the waitress. “Gee, that’s smooth,” I said to Morelli. “I’m a Jersey Italian, and my girl needs a drink.
It has been my experience that the only normal people are those you don’t know very well.
If Mickey Mouse could fly, he’d be Donald Duck.
I was standing with my back to the door, and I saw Connie’s eyes go wide. “Be still my heart,” Lula said, looking past me, through the window to the sidewalk. I figured they were looking at either Johnny Depp or Ranger. My money was on Ranger.
Three things cannot be long hidden. The sun, the moon, and the truth.
Ranger shrugged. “Things turn up.” He reached behind him and came up with a gun. My gun. “Found this in the lobby, too.” He tucked the gun under the top edge of my towel, wedging it between my breasts, his knuckles brushing against me. My breath caught in my throat, and for a moment I thought my towel might catch fire. Ranger smiled again. And I did more eye narrowing. “I’ll be in touch,” Ranger said. And then he was gone.
Even more bothersome was the fact that Eddie Kuntz’s napkin was moving on his lap without benefit of hands. My first inclination was to shout “Snake!” and shoot, but probably that wouldn’t hold up in court. Besides, as much as I disliked Eddie Kuntz, I could sort of identify with a man who got a stiffie over banana cream pie.
Morelli turned to Ranger. “If anything happens to her, I’m holding you responsible.” “Understood,” Ranger said. “Excuse me?” I said. “I’m an adult. I make my own decisions. And I’m responsible for my well-being. Is that clear?” “No,” both men said in unison.