Its always nice to have a stud muffin at the table.
Cupcake, your middle name is trouble.
We don’t usually write up accidents involving rabbits. – Joe Morelli.
You’re a magnet for mess. I’ve never seen anything like it. Lula to Stephanie.
Just because i know how to change a guys oil doesn’t mean i want to spend the rest of my life on my back, staring up his undercarriage.
Jesus, Morelli, you sound like you have PMS. You have to learn to lighten up a little. It’s just a car alarm. You should be thanking me. I had it installed with my own money.
I had an alarm, I had nerve gas, I had a yogurt. What more could anyone want?
Pete- What does a woman want out of marriage? Louisa- Undying devotion and a warm place to put her cold feet when she gets into bed at night.
Wondering where Ranger was now, when I needed him. Why wasn’t he here, insisting on locking me up in a safe house? Now that my hamster’s cage was clean, I’d be happy to oblige.
I rented Ghostbusters, my all-time favorite inspirational movie. I picked up some microwave, popcorn, a KitKat, a bag of bite-sized Reese’s peanut butter cups, and a box of instant hot chocolate with marshmallows. Do I know how to have a good time, or what?
I almost never shoot people.
Lula had Eminem cranked up. He was rapping about trailer park girls and how they go round the outside, and I was wondering what the heck that meant. I’m a white girl from Trenton. I don’t know these things. I need a rap cheat sheet.
I hate mornings. They start so early.
THE NOTE said the first clue was “in the big one.” I looked at the jumble of letters that followed, and I saw no pattern. Not such a surprise, since I was missing the puzzle chromosome and couldn’t do puzzles designed for nine-year-olds.
On the bright side, I’m sure this isn’t the last time you’ll ever get firebombed, so maybe you’ll have better luck next time.
It was dark and raining, with bad visibility, but this was Jersey, and we don’t slow down for anything.
If I let her in I’m doomed. It’s like inviting a vampire into your house. Once you’ve invite them in, that’s it, you’re good as dead!
My father was in the kitchen putting a new washer in the kitchen faucet. He looked relieved to see Morelli standing in the hallway. He’d probably prefer I bring home someone useful, like a butcher or a car mechanic, but I guess cops are a step up from undertakers.
With the exception of dessert, food is food.
Well, sure, but I don’t bring God into it. I think shower massage might have been invented by the devil. God invented the missionary position.