I disconnected and made a mental note not to call Tank unless I was bleeding profusely, and he was the only other person on earth.
I buy wine according to the bottle design. After I get down the first glass it all tastes okay to me so I figure you go for something classy to look at on the table.
I don’t think his elevator went all the way to the top anymore, if you know what I mean.
Make sure your main characters are likeable. They can be flawed, but your readers need to be able to root for them.
I’d hate to list our specialties. Wreck cars, eat doughnuts, create mayhem.
When you get ready to write your novel, outline it first. There’s nothing worse than getting halfway through and realizing you’ve painted yourself in a plot corner.
When I was painting, I was painting stories I was telling myself. When I look back at it, moving to writing was a very natural progression for me.
As long as he has a house with two bathrooms. I swear to God, I don’t care if he’s Jack the Ripper.
Turns out, that’s how it is with weddings. You just keep getting in deeper and deeper until you want to throw up.
God’s a busy guy. He don’t have time to micromanage. What are the chances he heard that? It’s early in the morning. He’s probably having breakfast with Mrs. God.
I think money isn’t any good sitting around, so I spend some time in the shoe department at Saks.
And the closest I’ve come to an out-of-body experience was when Joe Morelli took his mouth to me fourteen years ago, behind the eclair case.
One Ranger is all you’ll ever need. – Ranger.
Lula’s borderline too much of a good thing in lots of ways. It isn’t exactly that Lula is fat; it’s more that she’s too short for her weight and her clothes are too small for the volume of flesh she carries.
Howie’s doctor told him to lose ten pounds, and since Howie’s been on a diet he’s gained three.
You’d tell me if we were getting married, wouldn’t you? I mean, you wouldn’t just appear on my doorstep one day and say we were due at the church in an hour.
I wasn’t sure anymore what made a good marriage. There had to be love, of course, but there were so many different kinds of love. And clearly, some love was more enduring than others.
I’d spent a night with Ranger a while ago, and I knew what happened when he was encouraged. Ranger knew how to make a woman want him. Ranger was magic.
Any intelligent woman would have made a dignified retreat, but this was New Jersey, where dignity always runs a poor second to the pleasure of getting in someone’s face.
Everyone knows you can’t see death cooties. Take my word for it, that couch has the biggest, fattest death cooties that ever existed. That couch has the mother of all death cooties. – Lula.