Cancer is always funny.
I would make sweet love to Don Rickles.
Don’t take this the wrong way but I care more and I’m a better online friend than you. I also spend way to much time online.
I’d really like to promote my increasing consumption of bacon.
I’ve been doing theaters like the Warner for about a year and we’ve found the earlier you get the tickets on sale the better idea you get on how many shows we will be doing.
I smoke crack. I get all my dancers together and we do a prayer.
Cookies at both of them. The cookies are probably better at Letterman though.
I’d have to say Sunset Salsa. Nothing against Honey Lime, but it’s for losers.
The DC Improv food is amazingly edible for a comedy club.
Besides hot pockets keeps introducing new products every 10 minutes so I always have new stuff on the topic.
I realize I look very hip hop but I’m really more emo with a definite Brazilian flavor.
I do Sierra Mist commercials not because they pay me a lot of money or because it only takes a couple of days. I do it because I have a respect for all sodas and I like to communicate that. Some people say soda, some people say pop, where I’m from in Indiana they called it breakfast.
What’s amazing about doing movies, compared to television, there’s an ending you can see. There’s an enthusiasm to it.
Comedians kind of write what comes to them. You can give yourself little assignments, but it’s what inspires you. So I feel like with food, it is a passion of mine. It’s where my sensibility rests. I love topics that are universal, and I love stuff that doesn’t alienate people.
I’ve been doing stand-up for so long, I think 19 years, that I love topics I can also expand on. Once I identify a topic like, say, seafood, which is a big one right now, it’s like there are different kinds of tangents I can go on to build a larger chunk.
There are some people who know who I am but there are a lot of people that have no idea who I am – which is not to say that that’s a bad thing.
I believe that comedians do what they do, and then they get credit or criticism for doing it. There’s nothing planned about this.
In stand up, you get an awareness of how you come across, but in acting there is almost a hyper-awareness on how you might be physically perceived.
I wish, in some ways, I was the type of comedian who could do something blistering and topical, but I’m the guy who gets stuck in the revolving door and thinks I should write about that.
My comedy is romanticized laziness.