Never use a big word when a little filthy one will do.
If life was fair, Elvis would still be alive and all the impersonators dead.
Your chances of getting hit by lighting go up if you stand under a tree, shake your fist at the sky, and say “Storms suck!!
For 3 days after death hair and fingernails continue to grow but the phone calls taper off.
I loved the towns I grew up in as a boy, and after I became a celebrity, I went back several times. I would have had the time of my life seeing the old places and the old faces again, but the attitude of those same people was, “I guess you’re so big we bore you now.”