Gwyneth Paltrow names her kid Apple. I’m not going to let that stand.
That’s life when you’re on the D-list.
I prefer being known for my stand-up because I write it. I love being an actor, and saying other people’s words is great. But then, when I do stand-up, I love getting my own point of view out there.
I have a no-apology policy. No apologies for jokes. I apologize in my real life all the time. I say ridiculous things, I make mistakes constantly. But when I’m on stage, I’m at a microphone it’s a joke!
There’s one thing that’s really great about waking up early, and it’s not jogging or greeting the day – it’s just that that’s when they make doughnuts.
So yes, I say things I regret constantly, and I just can’t help it.
My friend Anderson Cooper is the scion of one of America’s great shipping and railroad families, the Vanderbilts.
I love to work. I love doing standup.
I’m not an artist. I tell inappropriate stories and jokes and I try to make people laugh.
It was a nightmare having cameras in the house 10 hours a day for a month.
I can say whatever I want. So do not bring the kids. It’s definitely rated R.
My act is based on my life.
Well, Jon Hamm isn’t a real celebrity.
Pretty much everywhere I go, I’m pretty much thinking I’m going to be bounced. I am still the outsider who snuck into the party. I identify with the regular person, because that is who I am.
I’m also doing a special for Comedy Central called Autobiography. It’s going to be a spoof of Biography.
I have to tell you, though, the sexism in late night talk is so profound.
I have friends who are going through chemotherapy, and they make the darkest, most hideous cancer jokes you’ve ever heard.
But if something funny happens, I can’t resist. I have to tell the people.
I have no limits, no filter, no class, no poise. No decorum. Just fun.
A lot of celebrities, especially when you’re talking about the really big ones, live in what I call the fame bubble. Nobody ever says no to them or challenges them or even teases them.