The best mind-altering drug is the truth.
Reality is the leading cause of stress among those in touch with it.
If love is the answer, could you please rephrase the question?
I worry that the person who thought up Muzak may be thinking up something else.
If trying harder doesn’t work, try softer.
The formula for water is H2O. Is the formula for an ice cube H2O squared?
When I am happy I feel like crying, but when I am sad I don’t feel like laughing. I think it is better to be happy; then you get two feelings for the price of one.
The whole idea of being in captivity in such limited space, especially in a zoo, causes elephants to suffer. They develop all kinds of foot diseases. They die. They get cysts. Not only is it painful, it eventually kills them.
If life is so meaningless, then why are we always bringing it up?
Success is a ladder that cannot be climbed with your hands in your pocket – The road to success is always under construction.
I still believe that sex is dirty. It’s just that now I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Every day I read the newspapers, and no matter how cynical I get, it’s imposssible to keep up.
I bought a box of animal crackers, but there was nothing inside. They’d eaten each other.
When we speak to God, we call it prayer; when God speaks back, we call it psychosis!
If beauty is truth, why don’t women go to the library to have their hair done?
If you have a dog or a cat, you know how developed they can be. How sensitive, how aware. They suffer. We all do.
We’re giving jobs to people who would otherwise be out of work if we weren’t exploiting cheap labor.
The larger picture is really to swing people’s awareness of what really is moral.
I was always empathetic with animals. It’s a terrible and self-involved point of view that we do something because someone else is exploitable.
It’s a more ridiculing, divisive humor today.