That is a society editor, sitting there elegantly dressed, with his legs crossed in that indolent way, observing the clothes the ladies wear, so that he can describe them for his paper and make them out finer than they are and get bribes for it and become wealthy.
In Austria an editor who can write well is valuable, but he is not likely to remain so unless he can handle a sabre with charm.
I hate editors, for they make me abandon a lot of perfectly good English words.
Heaven is the very last place to come to rest and don’t you be afraid to bet on that!
It is plain that there is one moral law for heaven and another for the earth. The pulpit assures us that wherever we see suffering and sorrow, which we can relieve and do not, we sin, heavily. There was never yet a case of suffering or sorrow which God could not relieve. Does He sin then?
We have an insanity plea that would have saved Cain.
If we only had some God in the country’s laws, instead of being in such a sweat to get him into the Constitution, it would be better all around.
You see, he knew his own laws just as other people so often know the laws: by words, not by effects. They take a meaning, and get to be very vivid, when you come to apply them to yourself.
The cigar-box which the European calls a ‘lift’ needs but to be compared with our elevators to be appreciated. The lift stops to reflect between floors. That is all right in a hearse, but not in elevators. The American elevator acts like a man’s patent purge-it works.
A man who keeps company with glaciers comes to feel tolerably insignificant by and by.
When you feel like tellin a feller to go to the devil – tell him to go to Chicago – it’ll anser every purpose, and is perhaps, a leetle more expensive.
Rise early. It is the early bird that catches the worm. Don’t be fooled by this absurd law; I once knew a man who tried it. He got up at sunrise and a horse bit him.
Wisdom teaches us that none but birds should go out early, and that not even birds should do it unless they are out of worms.
A joke, even if it be a lame one, is nowhere so keenly relished or quickly applauded as in a murder trial.
Next to possessing genius one’s self is the power of appreciating it in others.
The master minds of all nations, in all ages, have sprung in affluent multitude from the mass of the nations, and from the mass of the nation only-not from its privileged classes.
By “trampling upon the helpless abroad” with unchecked surveillance, Americans have learned, “by a natural process, to endure with apathy the like at home.”
Sagebrush is a very fair fuel, but as a vegetable it is a distinguished failure. Nothing can abide the taste of it but the jackass and his illegitimate child the mule.
We Americans are the most lavish and showiest and most luxury loving people on the earth; and at our masthead we fly one true and honest symbol, the gaudiest flag the world has ever seen.
She is not refined. She is not unrefined. She keeps a parrot.