If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember anything.
Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.
Good friends, good books, and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life.
The man who does not read has no advantage over the man who cannot read.
Never put off till tomorrow what may be done day after tomorrow just as well.
Go to heaven for the climate and hell for the company.
I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.
A lie can travel half way around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes.
Never tell the truth to people who are not worthy of it.
The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time.
Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.
Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.
In a good bookroom you feel in some mysterious way that you are absorbing the wisdom contained in all the books through your skin, without even opening them.
Reader, suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself. Simply suppose you were a member of Congress. And suppose you started-up what you believed to be your faculties, and worked out the draft of a law to cover the needs of some industry or other which you did not know anything about.
Substitute ‘damn’ every time you’re inclined to write ‘very;’ your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be.
Don’t go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.
God created war so that Americans would learn geography.
I did not attend his funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
But who prays for Satan? Who, in eighteen centuries, has had the common humanity to pray for the one sinner that needed it most?