I did not attend his funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
But who prays for Satan? Who, in eighteen centuries, has had the common humanity to pray for the one sinner that needed it most?
I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I said I didn’t know.
The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between lightning and a lightning bug.
Loyalty to country always. Loyalty to government, when it deserves it.
Life is short, break the rules, forgive quickly, kiss slowly, love truly, laugh uncontrollably, and never regret anything that made you smile.
Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option.
Truth is stranger than fiction, but it is because Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities; Truth isn’t.
Books are for people who wish they were somewhere else.
Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.
I do not fear death. I had been dead for billions and billions of years before I was born, and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience from it.
Don’t part with your illusions. When they are gone you may still exist, but you have ceased to live.
Sanity and happiness are an impossible combination.
You can't depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.
The trouble is not in dying for a friend, but in finding a friend worth dying for.
When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years.
If you don't read the newspaper, you're uninformed. If you read the newspaper, you're mis-informed.
Name the greatest of all inventors. Accident.
I've lived through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened.
You believe in a book that has talking animals, wizards, witches, demons, sticks turning into snakes, burning bushes, food falling from the sky, people walking on water, and all sorts of magical, absurd and primitive stories, and you say that we are the ones that need help?