Well – Patriotism has its laws. And it also is a perfectly definite one, there are not vaguenesses about it. It commands that the brother over the border shall be sharply watched and brought to book every time he does us a hurt or offends us with an insult.
I respect a man who knows how to spell a word more than one way.
We may not doubt that society in heaven consists mainly of undesirable persons.
India is the cradle of the human race, the birthplace of human speech, the mother of history, the grandmother of legend, and the great grandmother of tradition. Our most valuable and most instructive materials in the history of man are treasured up in India only.
India has two million gods, and worships them all. In religion all other countries are paupers; India is the only millionaire.
It is a good and gentle religion, but inconvenient.
Our most valuable and most instructive materials in the history of man are treasured up in India.
It’s my opinion that every one I know has morals, though I wouldn’t like to ask. I know I have. But I’d rather teach them than practice them any day. “Give them to others”-that’s my motto.
Morals consist of political morals, commercial morals, ecclesiastical morals, and morals.
In early times some sufferer had to sit up with a toothache, and he put in the time inventing the German language.
It’s awful undermining to the intellect, German is; you want to take it in small doses, or first you know your brains all run together, and you feel them flapping around in your head same as so much drawn butter.
I would not rob you of your food or your clothes or your umbrella, but if I caught your German out I would take it. But I don’t study any more,- I have given it up.
I can understand German as well as the maniac that invented it, but I talk it best through an interpreter.
I don’t speak German well but several experts have assured me that I write it like an angel. Maybe so, maybe so- I don’t know. I’ve not yet made any acquaintances among the angels. That comes later, whenever it please the Deity. I’m not in any hurry.
How charmed I am when I overhear a German word which I understand!
There is no such thing as the Queen’s English. The property has gone into the hands of a joint stock company and we own the bulk of the shares!
What do we call love, hate, charity, revenge, humanity, forgiveness? Different results of the master impulse, the necessity of securing one’s self-approval.
A wise man does not waste so good a commodity as lying for naught.
A monarch, when good, is entitled to the consideration which we accord to a pirate who keeps Sunday School between crimes; when bad, he is entitled to none at all.
Do not undervalue the headache. While it is at its sharpest it seems a bad investment; but when relief begins, the unexpired remainder is worth $4 a minute.