If all men were rich, all men would be poor.
I begin to see that a man’s got to be in his own heaven to be happy.
I found out that I was a Christian for revenue only and I could not bear the thought of that, it was so ignoble.
The exercise of an extraordinary gift is the supremest pleasure in life.
We all live in the protection of certain cowardices which we call our principles.
He has been a doctor a year now and has had two patients – no, three, I think – yes, it was three; I attended their funerals.
Tea is an affront to lunch and an insult to dinner.
Behind every successful man, there is a woman – And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two.
Knowledge becomes wisdom only after it has been put to good use.
Dance like nobody’s looking.
I never can think of Judas Iscariot without losing my temper. To my mind Judas Iscariot was nothing but a low, mean, premature, Congressman.
Praise is well, compliment is well, but affection-that is the last and most precious reward that any man can win, whether by character or achievement.
One thing at a time, is my motto – and just play that thing for all it is worth, even if it’s only tto pair and a jack.
Moralists and philosophers have adjudged those who throw temptation in the way of the erring, equally guilty with those who are thereby led into evil.
Hardly a man in the world has an opinion upon morals, political, or religion which he got otherwise than through his associations and sympathies.
If there was two birds sitting on a fence, he would bet you which one would fly first.
Circumstances make man, not man circumstances.
A person who has a cat by the tail knows a whole lot more about cats than someone who has just read about them.
The piano may do for love-sick girls who lace themselves to skeletons, and lunch on chalk, pickles and slate pencils, but give me the banjo.
There are 869 different forms of lying, but only one of them has been squarely forbidden. Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor.