When your opinions start to coincide with those of the majority, it is time to reconsider your opinions.
I was educated once – it took me years to get over it.
Experience comes from bad judgment.
The Book of Mormon is chloroform in print.
No amount of evidence will ever persuade an idiot.
If ignorance is bliss, why isn’t the world happier?
The water is clearer than the air, and the air is the air that angels breathe.
The reason why truth is so much stranger than fiction is that there is no requirement for it to be consistent.
Too bad that youth is wasted on the young.
The Bible is a wonderful book; you can prove anything you want with it.
A wanton waste of projectiles.
An inglorious peace is better than a dishonorable war.
Comedy keeps the heart sweet; but we all know that there is wholesome refreshment for both mind and heart in an occasional climb among the pomps of the intellectual snow-summits built by Shakespeare and those others.
We get our morals from books. I didn’t get mine from books, but I know that morals do come from books- theoretically at least.
It has always been a peculiarity of the human race that it keeps two sets of morals in stock-the private and the real, and the public and the artificial.
You can’t keep a juvenile moral institution alive on two displays of its sash per year.
It is not best to use our morals weekdays, it gets them out of repair for Sunday.
Morals are not the important thing-nor enlightenment-nor civilization. A man can do absolutely well without them, but he can’t do without something to eat. The supremest thing is the need of the body, not of the mind and spirit.
It is easier for a cannibal to enter the Kingdom of Heaven through the eye of a rich man’s needle that it is for any other foreigner to read the terrible German script.
War talk by men who have been in a war is always interesting; whereas moon talk by a poet who has not been in the moon is likely to be dull.