I always thought when I became an adult everything would become less confusing, but unfortunately, everything’s only becoming more confusing.
People everywhere pray for a job where they can “work from home,” so I guess, going with the gratitude theme, I should be grateful for this opportunity. I wonder how, though, when people get one of these jobs, they keep themselves from spending the entire day going on YouTube and looking at videos about baby deer that have been adopted by golden retrievers. Because that’s all I’ve accomplished today so far.
I don’t know why the world has to be populated by so many unpleasant people. I really don’t. It really takes an effort to be rude, too. The amount of energy people expend on being a jerk astounds me sometimes.
Roses are red, violets are blue. You may not know it, but someone loves you.
I was too emotional to say anything. I was experiencing many “feels” as the kids on Tumblr – my computer-savvy friend CeeCee has told me about it – often say.
I’m not some shy virginal college student who only owns one shirt.
In everyday life, we’re given a choice. Do the right thing, do nothing, or do the wrong thing. All too often, people choose to do nothing. And that’s all right. It’s easier. Sometimes it’s difficult to know what’s right and what’s wrong. But every so often, a few people choose to go out of their way to do the right thing.
Why doesn’t the CIA hire your grandmother to interrogate terror suspects? She does a much better job than they do of getting classified information.
What was I thinking, anyway? It would never work out between the two of us. I mean, I’m a mediator. His dad’s a vampire. His uncle’s a killer. What if we got married? Think how our kids would turn out...
A lot of stuff, I’ve noticed, gets manipulated by writers when it’s shown on television – even so-called reality television – and makes us think we’re supposed to think and act and look certain ways, when the true reality is totally the opposite. Often there’s no “right way” to look or think or act, but because we’ve been so conditioned by the media to think so, we actually mistrust our own better judgment.
Susannah, I love you, but you are the most frustrating woman in the world. For once in your life, don’t argue. Just do it.
Sister Ernestine said something very nasty about how maybe Miss Simon didn’t realize how unpleasant detention at the Mission Academy could be. I assured Sister Ernestine that if she was threatening corporal punishment, I would tell my mother, who was a local news anchor-woman and would be over here with a TV camera so fast, nobody would have time to say so much as a single Hail Mary. Sister Ernestine was pretty quiet after that.
And that’s that as you get older, you lose things, things you don’t necessarily want to lose.
However much they’re paying teachers these days, it is not enough. Middle-schoolers are animals.
Okay, okay, already,” I said, holding up both hands in an I-surrender sort of gesture. “I’ll try it your way from now on. I’ll do the touchy-feely stuff. Jeez. You West Coasters. It’s all backrubs and avocado sandwiches with you guys, isn’t it?
The good thing about being in one’s midtwenties is that you know nothing bad is going to happen if you don’t return people’s texts and voice mails.
Of course, I didn’t know how I felt about my first kiss coming from one of the undead, but hey, beggars can’t be choosers, and let me tell you something, Jesse was way cuter than any live guy I’d met lately.
My intention, of course, had been to wake up early and call Father Dominic to warn him about Heather. But intentions are only as good as the people who hold them, and I guess I must be worthless because I didn’t wake up until my mother shook me awake, and by then it was 7:30, and my ride was leaving without me.
I’m Suze Simon,” I said. “And you thought being dead was bad? Buddy, your eternal nightmare’s only just begun.
The way things are going, I wouldn’t be surprised if pretty soon I start wearing ripped-up fishnet stockings and dyeing my hair black. Maybe I’ll even start smoking and get my ears double-pierced or something. And then they’ll make a TV movie about me and call it Royal Scandal. It will show me going up to Prince William and saying,‘Who’s the most popular young royal now, huh, punk?’ and then headbutting him or something.