As my mom has said, when one person is unhappy, it usually means two people are unhappy but that one has not come to terms with it yet.
I regard romantic comedies as a subgenre of sci-fi, in which the world operates according to different rules than my regular human world.
Sometimes I eavesdrop on people. I could rationalize it – oh, this is good anthropological research for characters I’m writing – but it’s basically just nosiness. It also helps me gauge where I’m at: Am I normal?
I have never regretted erring on the side of withholding information.
Anyone who’s lost someone to cancer will say this, that you have to struggle to try to remember the person before the diagnosis happened, because they really do change – as anyone would change.
There’s the psychotic ambitious side of myself that wants a fashion line and my own network and be like a combination of Oprah and Gwen Stefani. And have a perfume. Definitely a perfume.
Twitter is the most amazing medium for a comedy writer. I can’t get in every idea I want on the show no matter how hard I try to bully the other writers, so it’s a way of me getting out other comic ideas and immediately getting feedback.
I’m a smart enough person to know that I don’t want everyone to be cookie-cutter versions of the nine guys who wear Converse sneakers.
My mom always used to say, “You can’t say I love you before you can say I.” And I think that sort of makes sense.
I have crushes on celebrities or people I meet or see in the coffee shop, and every day I fall in love with three people simply because they said one funny thing or appeared to me in a certain way.
All I want to do is be a gay icon. I was reading Lady Gaga’s twitter, because she has like 12 million followers, or something like that. I feel like she has fans, gay, straight, bi, who would throw themselves off a building for her.
I always knew I wanted kids, but when my mom passed away I was like, ‘I want a bunch of kids. I want three kids or four kids, and I want to have that relationship again.’ I can’t bring my mom back, but I can have children.
Truthfully, I guess I would like to be remembered as a great writer and a kind person. I wouldn’t mind if an expensive bag were named after me, like Jane Birkin.
I am a super-confident writer, and as a joke writer and as an actress, I’m like, ‘I want to go head-to-head with every person.’ I am an Indian woman and I’m a kind of double minority in this world.
I don’t need marriage. I don’t need anyone to take care of all my needs and desires. I can take care of them myself now.
I don’t consider myself a fashion person, I consider myself a shopping person. As a person who has girlie interests and a little bit of disposable income.
I want a schedule-keeping, waking-up-early, wallet-carrying, picture-hanging man. I don’t care if he takes prescription drugs for cholesterol or hair loss.
Running is a quick trigger for a good mood. The great thing about endorphins, you don’t have to be in great shape to get them.
This is extremely challenging when you sound like a 12-year-old girl, and you decide your first personal endeavor is to play, like, a – like, a very macho dude.
That’s my advice to people. You can’t get hung up on thinking, “Am I the victim in this situation?” No, I’m in charge of it.