A well-developed sense of self is a necessary if not sufficient condition of your well-being. Its presence does not guarantee fulfillment, but its absence guarantees some measure of anxiety, frustration, or despair.
Freedom is still the most radical idea of all.
If we do not believe in ourselves- neither in our efficacy nor in our goodness- the universe is a frightening place.
Self-respecting men and women think about the consequences of their actions-and are willing to take responsibility for them.
Doing more of what doesn’t work doesn’t work.
The ultimate test of our integrity is not how we deal with those whom we agree but how we deal with those who we do not agree.
Out of fear, out of the desire for approval, out of the misguided notions of duty, people surrender themselves-their convictions and their aspirations-every day. There is nothing noble about it. It takes far more courage to fight for your values than to relinquish them.
Do not marry the enemy of your excitement.
If my aim is to prove I am ‘enough,’ the project goes on to infinity-because the battle was already lost on the day I conceded the issue was debatable.
If we attach more importance to what other people believe than to what we know to be true – if we value belonging over being – we will not attain authenticity.
The tragedy of too many people is that they cannot allow happiness just to be there; they cannot leave it alone. Their sense of who they are and of what their destiny is cannot accommodate happiness. So they are drive to find ways to sabotage it.
To exist without purpose is to be at the mercy of the chance encounter, the chance invitation, the chance phone call, the chance event- always being controlled by forces external to oneself.
Set goals that don’t feel all that easy, that challenge you, stimulate you, and give you a chance to stretch and push yourself. That is where the power of growth lies.
Of all the judgments you make in life, none is as important as the one you make about yourself. The difference between low self-esteem and high self-esteem is the difference between passivity and action, between failure and success.
If you overcome your fear to ask someone for a date, a raise, or help with a project, that is an act of self-assertiveness. You are moving out into life rather than contracting and withdrawing.
If you bring five percent more awareness to your work tomorrow, or to your most important relationship, what might you do differently? Are you willing to find out?
It is true that people are sometimes hit by adversities beyond their control. But those so affected are better helped when they are awakened to the resources they do possess than when they are told they don’t have any.
If you choose not to live self-responsibly, you count on others to make up your default. No one abjures self-responsibility on a desert island.
To preserve an unclouded capacity for the enjoyment of life is an unusual moral and psychological achievement. Contrary to popular belief, it is not the prerogative of mindlessness, but the exact opposite: It is the reward of self-esteem.
The reputation you have with yourself – your self-esteem – is the single most important factor for a fulfilling life.