Every day, it’s important to ask and answer these questions: “What’s good in my life?” and “What needs to be done?”
A bully hides his fears with fake bravado. That is the opposite of self-assertiveness.
When your principles seem to be demanding suicide, clearly it’s time to check your premises.
To attain “success” without attaining positive self-esteem is to be condemned to feeling like an imposter anxiously awaiting exposure.
The stability we cannot find in the world, we must create within our own persons.
Most of the time, I regard the judgment of people as a waste of time. I regard the judgment of behavior as imperative.
Some people stand and move as if they have no right to the space they occupy. They wonder why others often fail to treat them with respect-not realizing that they have signaled others that it is not necessary to treat them with respect.
A well-developed sense of self is a necessary if not sufficient condition of your well-being. Its presence does not guarantee fulfillment, but its absence guarantees some measure of anxiety, frustration, or despair.
Freedom is still the most radical idea of all.
If we do not believe in ourselves- neither in our efficacy nor in our goodness- the universe is a frightening place.
Self-respecting men and women think about the consequences of their actions-and are willing to take responsibility for them.
Doing more of what doesn’t work doesn’t work.
The ultimate test of our integrity is not how we deal with those whom we agree but how we deal with those who we do not agree.
Out of fear, out of the desire for approval, out of the misguided notions of duty, people surrender themselves-their convictions and their aspirations-every day. There is nothing noble about it. It takes far more courage to fight for your values than to relinquish them.
Do not marry the enemy of your excitement.
If my aim is to prove I am ‘enough,’ the project goes on to infinity-because the battle was already lost on the day I conceded the issue was debatable.
If we attach more importance to what other people believe than to what we know to be true – if we value belonging over being – we will not attain authenticity.
The tragedy of too many people is that they cannot allow happiness just to be there; they cannot leave it alone. Their sense of who they are and of what their destiny is cannot accommodate happiness. So they are drive to find ways to sabotage it.
To exist without purpose is to be at the mercy of the chance encounter, the chance invitation, the chance phone call, the chance event- always being controlled by forces external to oneself.
Set goals that don’t feel all that easy, that challenge you, stimulate you, and give you a chance to stretch and push yourself. That is where the power of growth lies.