If there’s something you really want to believe, that’s what you should question the most.
Barack Obama is way smarter than Bush – so way, way smarter than me. Obama is way more charismatic than me.
Believing there’s no God means I can’t really be forgiven except by kindness and faulty memories. That’s good; it makes me want to be more thoughtful. I have to try to treat people right the first time around.
That whole 99% thing, they are all in the 1% of the world. Every one of them pays a cellphone bill that is the yearly income for a family in much of the rest of the world.
We are only here for a little while, and our bodies belong to ourselves and no one else.
Behaving morally because of a hope of reward or a fear of punishment is not morality.
I believe the fast track to atheism is reading the Bible. I’ve read it three times all the way through. It’s a big part of our culture, a big part of our history. I don’t just read things I agree with.
Twelve magicians and two carnies have been shot dead doing the bullet catch. That’s cool enough, but every night when we close our show with that trick and the loaded gun gets pointed in my face, it goes so far beyond cool. All I can think is 12 magicians, two carnies.
I like movies that are scary, but I don’t want them to be dirt dumb. I want a movie that gets my blood racing, makes me laugh, but also gives me something to think about, with maybe a little sexy thrown in. Hollywood doesn’t make movies like that.
I’m not greedy. I have love, blue skies, and Hallmark cards, and that has to be enough. It has to be enough, but it’s everything in the world – and everything in the world is plenty for me. It seems just rude to beg the invisible for more.
Every time something really bad happens, people cry out for safety, and the government answers by taking rights away from good people.
A lot of people, to attack an outspoken atheist, one of the things they’ll do is say, ‘You are as bad as the fundamentalist Christians.’ And my answer is always, ‘I hope so.’
Having a Hummer is stupid. It’s stupid to waste that much gas. It’s stupid to waste that much money on gas. It’s stupid to parade your insecurities on public roads. Hummers are stupid-looking.
Everyone’s goals are the same with very small differences. I mean, the goal of a socialist and the goal of a libertarian are exactly the same. The goals are happiness and security and freedom, and you balance those.
Everybody prefers to see a nut – they’re more fascinating.
Behaving morally because of a hope of reward or a fear of punishment is not morality. Morality is not bribery or threats. Religion is bribery and threats. Humans have morality. We don’t need religion.
Comedy is taken care of by a free market.
Modern American magic, late 20th century magic, is tremendously disrespectful of the audience.
How much do you have to hate somebody to not proselytize?
I do believe that a belief in God is crazy, but that doesn’t mean that the people who believe in it are crazy. Those are two different things. Ideas can be stupid and crazy, and the people who hold those ideas are not necessarily stupid and crazy.