Wisdom is one of the few things that looks bigger the further away it is.
I once absent-mindedly ordered Three Mile Island dressing in a restaurant and, with great presence of mind, they brought Thousand Island Dressing and a bottle of chili sauce.
They didn’t know why these things were funny. Sometimes you laugh because you’ve got no more room for crying. Sometimes you laugh because table manners on a beach are funny. And sometimes you laugh because you’re alive, when you really shouldn’t be.
I’d rather be a rising ape than a falling angel.
Progress just means bad things happen faster.
Did I do anything last night that suggested I was sane?
First draft: let it run. Turn all the knobs up to 11. Second draft: hell. Cut it down and cut it into shape. Third draft: comb its nose and blow its hair. I usually find that most of the book will have handed itself to me on that first draft.
In ancient times cats were worshipped as gods; they have not forgotten this.
Five exclamation marks, the sure sign of an insane mind.
Fantasy is an exercise bicycle for the mind. It might not take you anywhere, but it tones up the muscles that can. Of course, I could be wrong.
He was the sort of person who stood on mountaintops during thunderstorms in wet copper armour shouting ‘All the Gods are bastards.’
The pen is mightier than the sword if the sword is very short, and the pen is very sharp.
Sometimes it is better to light a flamethrower than curse the darkness.
The intelligence of the creature known as a crowd, is the square root of the number of people in it.
I’ll be more enthusiastic about encouraging thinking outside the box when there’s evidence of any thinking going on inside it.
Taxation is just a sophisticated way of demanding money with menaces.
Writing is the most fun you can have by yourself.
Dickens, as you know, never got round to starting his home page.
I have to write because if I don’t get something down then after a while I feel it’s going to bang the side of my head off.
This isn’t life in the fast lane, it’s life in the oncoming traffic.