What’s the difference between Thom Yorke and a pizza? Pizza’s not as cheesy and delicious as Thom Yorke.
It’s hard being Thom Yorke. You have to get up every morning and look at that face and not shoot at it with a gun.
I will never run out of quotes. I am, after all, the Thom Yorke.
My father slapped my thighs with a variety of meats until I began to cry and sulked in the corner. I later became a musician.
Most of my dancing is actually convulsions from having to listen to my own music.
Our merchandised may be over priced, but I think it’s reasonable considering I only want more money.
Sometimes I stand in store windows and pretend to be a mannequin. People are like ‘hey, that mannequin looks alot like thom yorke’ Then I start to sing The Gloaming and lurch toward them and they run off horrified.
Isn’t it strange how someone can be both human and divine at the same time? I am referring, of course, to myself.
I once got hit with a taser at a concert and everyone thought I was dancing. Now I have to do that dance, at every show for the rest of my life, or admit that a taser can damage the Thom Yorke.
I see fat kids on the street all the time and I give them free radiohead t-shirts with bullseyes on them. Later when I see them wearing the t-shirts I shoot at them with bb guns while riding a very large dog and singing kicking squealing gucci little piggy over and over.
Bulletproof is about the fact that I was shot in the face and survived. Nah I’m joking that’d be grisly and awful.
I’m banned from Middlebrook elementary for telling dirty jokes to the janitor. The janitor! He cleans up dirt for a living.
I stopped showering ever since I realized water causes people to drown. I cannot risk being so close to something that can murder me. Do you let killers into your house? Oh, but you let a murderer come out of your own faucet. Hypocrite.
I may have found the cure for cancer, and I think it might be Thom Yorke Serum.
I’m baking stories, and singing cookies, oh the tonderous wimes!
I’m horrified of leprechauns. I’m horrified that I might be leprechauns.
I’m still not certain on the nature of the spork, whether it is a fork and a spoon, or a fork and a knife mixed together, or maybe a fork and a fork on top. Life is full of mysteries yeah man.
I don’t even have children, it’s just been an excuse to play jenga and hit softballs in my backyard with a box of laundry detergant wearing baby clothes.
I don’t write lyrics, the lyrics write Thom Yorke.
There are a lot of things I cannot do, such as eat books and read chicken.