One person can’t change the world. But Thom Yorke can, because he’s two people. Both of them are Thom Yorke.
Americans are ugly unwashed clods that live off of government cheese. If I could, I’d take every living American, grind them up into a fine paste and use that paste to feed the dolphins, because they are neglected by the evil Americans.
I’m terrible at jigsaw puzzles. Other people solve the puzzle but I just keep trying to make the pieces that don’t fit fit. I guess that’s what makes me special, I try to assemble jigsaw puzzles incorrectly.
Trying to find my flaws is like trying to find a black person at one of our concerts.
If I could be any famous person, I’d be John Wilkes Booth, because I’d love to shoot Abraham Lincoln in the face.
As a boy I was a hermit crab, but I soon came out of my shell. Now I am a pincer crab, and soon I will be at my full power as a deadly nuclear lobster.
The pointless snide remarks of hammerheaded sharks.
Most Radiohead songs are actually REM songs, I just have a mentally ill child read the lyrics aloud and then I change the melodies a bit.
I lost my virginity to a pumpkin when I was 23. Back then I was convinced I was actually a Vegetable, hell, that’s what the song is about.
I’m listening to Aphex Twin. That makes me cultured and interesting.
It’s impossible being me, I radiate a glow that makes others turn and grimace in horror as if staring into the sun.
I could not extrapolate some emotion from any song after 1997 so I bought a drum machine and popped pills. The pink ones make me funny like elephants!
Radiohead is overrated. Thom Yorke’s solo output, however, is brilliant.
Have you ever seen any member of radiohead aside from me in public? Do they interact or ‘lift’ objects? Holograms, all of them. I created them in 1991 using my massive brainpower. Even pitchforkmedia is a product of my brilliant imagination.
The only thing more difficult than being a God is being Thom Yorke. Thom Yorke has all these responsibilities, to save the planet. To save the world. To redeem Thom Yorke.
It’s a fine line between writing something with genuine emotional impact and turning into little idiots feeling sorry for ourselves and playing stadium rock.
Space Jam is my favorite movie. Don’t ask me why, it just is.
I hate to sound self absorbed, but I’m just going to cast out this pearl of wisdom, if I could give the whole world cancer and kill them and be the last man on earth it would be a sign that god loves me especially.
Well actually I’m not a man but a carrot. The band was eating salads one day and a carrot fell off of the salad bar onto a microphone and the band realized that they had just discovered something brilliant. Me.
I’m not saying my fans are stupid, but I once left a cabbage onstage next to a harmonica and nobody noticed for three hours.