It’s no more dangerous to society than a radio broadcast of The War of the Worlds.
Never tell a crazy person he’s crazy.
At the upcoming Grammy Awards, Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony will perform together as the first time, as man and wife. Hopefully music.
If these two are tired of having sex with each other, what hope is there for the rest of us?
Amy Poehler and I have been friends for so long, we’re like Oprah and Gale. Only we’re not denying anything.
Anyone who knows me will tell you that I am all about money. I mean, just look how well my line of zodiac-inspired toe rings and homeopathic children’s medications are selling on Home Shopping Network.
The same ten minutes that magazines urge me to use for sit-ups and triceps dips, I used for sobbing.
In Washington, officials from the National Rifle Association met with a group of high school students. There were no survivors.
I don’t enjoy any kind of danger or volatility. I don’t have that kind of ‘I love the bad guys’ thing. No, no thank you. I like nice people.
In an interview, Paris Hilton said that of her and her sister, “People love to hate us. But when you know us, you love us. And if you really get to know us, you get gonorrhea.”
It’s not vanity, because if you look weird, it will distract from what your trying to do. If you look as good as you can, people will be able to pay attention to what your actually saying.
Al Gore announced Tuesday that he plans to launch a 24-hour cable news network for young adults. Gore claims he’s been wanting to do this since he invented cable TV in the 1990s.
I prefer the retro chic of spending Christmas just like Joseph and Mary did – Traveling arduously back to the place of your birth to be counted, with no guarantee of a bed when you get there.
It was reported that the New York Knicks have won all 12 of the home games attended by magician David Blaine. A spokesman for the Knicks said, ‘if this is what it takes to win, it’s not worth it.’
A recent study announced that 52 per cent of all teens who sign virginity pledges recant them within twelve months. If I’m on my game.
There is no one of-woman-born who does not like Red Lobster cheddar biscuits. Anyone who claims otherwise is a liar and a Socialist.
You have to try your hardest to be at the top of your game and improve every joke you can until the last possible second, and then you have to let it go.
I had my hair in a ponytail and looked my trademark exhausted.
President Bush gave a rousing speech to the United Nations General Assembly. Afterward, in a touching show of support, every foreign dignitary shook hands with the president and smiled warmly as he mispronounced their names.
Saudi Arabian police arrested seven teenage boys for leering at women. In accordance with Saudi law, the boys will be whipped and the women will be stoned to death.