And Nietzche, with his theory of eternal recurrence. He said that the life we lived we’re going to live over again the exact same way for eternity. Great. That means I’ll have to sit through the Ice Capades again.
If you meet somebody and are attracted to someone, and the exquisite neurons in your brain and her brain intermesh properly, then things can be wonderful. It’s not like homework. You don’t have to work at the relationship.
I cannot say for certain that God does not exist; I think the worst thing that can be said about him is that he’s a bit of an underachiever.
This stuff tastes awful; I could have made a fortune selling it in my health-food store.
Because it’s much more pleasant to be obsessed over how the hero gets out of his predicament than it is over how I get out of mine.
None of the arts are any good unless you really are great at them.
If I had my life to live over, I wish I could be a great pianist or something.
In real life, Keaton believes in God. But she also believes that the radio works because there are tiny people inside it.
Manute Bol is so skinny they save money on road trips. They just fax him from city to city.
Is old age really so terrible? Not if you’ve brushed your teeth faithfully.
One man starving puts a crimp in my evening.
The process of making films is so technically demanding that it’s a distraction. You don’t spend your time thinking about the philosophical content, which is often very depressing.
When the Academy called, I panicked. I thought they might want their Oscars back and the pawn shop has been out of business for a while.
Then Job fell to his knees and cried to the Lord, “Thine is the kingdom and the power and glory. Thou hast a good job. Don’t blow it.”
If I could just hope to have a major talent, then I would rather have it in music than in any other field.
There is dignity in suffering; nobility in pain; but failure is a salted wound, that burns and burns again!
You’re a genius! And the proof is that both common people and intellectuals find your work completely incoherent.
Humorists always sit at the children’s table.
This year I’m a star, but what will I be next year? A black hole?
Isn’t all mankind ultimately executed for a crime it never committed?